leave if you never liked it.

2007-09-04T02:45:00.000+08:00

just came back from drinking, again.
kinda lost count of how many days ive been drinking in this week.
was sleeping away most of th day yesterday.
spent th rest of th time talking to jianing on th phone. (:
went to look for gerald around seven plus as hes selling ice cream alone, asked me to tagged along to chit chat with him. hahs.
and happy hour around eleven. hahs.
but th only unhappy thing is that, jianing aerplane-d me. ):
but nevermind, like what she always said, stupid people are always forgiven.
so, jianing, you're forgiven. xP

2007-09-03T12:13:00.000+08:00

went for some getai thinggy last night.
didnt wanted to go for it, but too bad, no choice luhs.
but it wasnt as bad as we think it is, and i drank last night, again. hahs.
saw some old time gangsters dancing to th music enjoying themselves there. kinda funny though. hahs.
and alvin was dead drunk last night, god know whats coming out from his mouth, we dont understand a single word. hahs.
all i knew was he tried to burn me and gerald with th cigarette luhs. damn him.
thank god hes drunk, if not he'l know it. hahs.
got home around eleven, and just as expected. i slept like a pig. xD

and jianing, cheer up, okay?
dont think of those unhappy happenings.
you can always look for us if you ever need someone to entertain you. hahs.
smile more, girl. (:

2007-09-01T17:58:00.001+08:00

sorry for not being able to post anything useful here for like dont know how many years.
but life for me is fine these days.
im starting to get used to life without her.
kinda uneasy initially, but things got much better after some time.
thanks to jianing, that stupid pancake whos always there for me. xD
missed school like dont know what. but guess i wont be able to go back so soon due to a case on hand.
hope that everything turns out well, and hope that she'll be able to find someone she likes in th future.
promise to be back to blogging, remember to visit me, yeah? xD

2007-08-15T14:08:00.000+08:00

im still here, not dead yet.
but dying i guess.
ages since i last updated my blog. kinda lazy though.
im single again, dont know if its a good news or not.
but seems like shes happy with her life now, maybe its because im not there to trouble her anymore.
i still like her, very much, like how i always did in th past.
but its also true that can never live well with each other, so be it then.
i just need time, thats all.
thats about all, hope i'l have th time to update soon. [:

2007-07-18T15:39:00.001+08:00

its been weeks since we last met.
but after passing by your blog, you seem to grow happier each day.
im still missing you, thinking of what are you doing every single moment.
i dont know if you're still mine, i dont know if your heart still here, but all i know is my lifes in a huge mess now, and i dont know when is my last seeing all those people around me.
but a huge thanks to all my friends, they're really nice to me nowadays. hahs.
hope everything turns out well, my birthdays coming, and i really wish to see you.

2007-06-27T19:38:00.000+08:00

th reason why i got back together with you was because i love you, i really do.
im really giving you th best that i can, but am i too much to ask for something simple in return?
just a message in th morning or before you sleep, is that too much?
just a call from you, asking where am i and stuffs, is that too much either?
you said i was silly to ask for things like that, but those things are keeping me going.
those things were th things that makes me believe that my girlfriend still love me alot.
its th most simplest thing a girlfriend would do for her boyfriend, i know you're different, but please understand th level of stress im facing each day.
almost everyone has a negative comment for you, but whatever they say are making sense.
im really lost, and yet you said i didnt trust you and you said its pointless being together.
can you really do it without me?
i can tell you very frankly that i cant, but you never choose to believe it, you think that im just like all those guys out there, whos trying to get together with you just because you're pretty.
im really not, okay?
im really trying my best to keep th relationship going, but just how long more can i hang on to?
you said if one day i couldnt take it anymore, all i needed to do was to give you a call, but that wasnt what i wanted.
if i ever had th mindset of leaving, i wouldnt had made myself like that.
and being able to last, couldnt something being done through words.
ive gave up what i can, cant you just do a little for me?
just dont leave me, wont you? ):

and, its someones birthday today.
so, happy birthday, someone. [:

god, kill me, would you?

2007-06-19T13:34:00.001+08:00

guess most of th people around me knows about me and huiwen alred.
yeah, its true that we got together again.
many times i tried, trying to fall for another girl, thinking that everything would be left in th past.
many times i tried, to avoid her so that i wouldnt be reminded of th past.
but its just a phone call in th first and a meeting th second time.
and whatever that i have for her in th past will still be there.
its th second time, th second time that ive hurt another girl.
at first i told myself that i would last long with brenda.
i really tried to, but after some time, i realised that it was just my one sided thinking, thinking that everything would be better if i go with someone better.
but i begin to realised that.
love is blind, it sure is.
its just like, i still like her, no matter what took place in th past.
th both of us were so different from each other, yet it was th love between us that got us together.
i wonder if this was a tragedy or what, but this girl is th one i love th most, from th day i knew what liking someone was, til now.
about th patch up this time round, im not sure about anything yet.
but lets just hope i'l stay positive and hope that everything turns out th way i want to.
and brenda, im sorry. [:

2007-06-13T10:27:00.000+08:00

yesterday was awesome.
played basketball th whole night.
and i was really happy to have played hard.
that kinda satisfaction was found after so many wasted months.
its been always there during my life in sec 2 and earlier days of my sec 3 life.
something which has been lost for month, yet i got everything back last night.
just that, th stamina isnt there.
th skill and stuffs, kinda rusty though. hahs.
and a hearty meal with all my friends after such sports was nice too.
just how i missed basketball. (:

2007-05-17T08:17:00.000+08:00

went out with th smallest yet cutest girl yesterday, which is, my dearest sister, LIMjiaqi. hahs.
went to watch spidey3 with her, shes really cute. hahs.
met her up around two at causeway, before meeting up kai hong for lunch at three.
th movie was at four, so i still have time for food. hahs.
but something strange was, my cute little sister became so shy when she saw kai hong. hahs.
or maybe is it because.? hahs.
rushed off to meet her again after im done with my cigarette break around 4.1o. im late.
and as expected, i got scolded by her. hahs. shes fierce. she bites too, know? hahs.
didnt managed to get her nachos as we are real late. hahs. sorry dearest. ):
not a bad movie, but its real cold. hahs.
sent her home after that, and slept soon after i reached home. hahs.

2007-04-27T15:57:00.000+08:00

damn pissed now, dont know what to say.
yesterday wasnt a good day, so was today.
one of my best friend said something after knowing a secret of mine.
something which isnt pleasent at all, th person said something like, actually i have something to tell you, but after knowing that you are such a fcuker, its best for you to go away.
and now, even if i did something wrongly, even if im really a fcuker.
at least i hesitate to hurt someone, unlike you.
but no worries, this aint gonna affect th friendship between us, if you still treat me as one.
and today wasnt a good day also, dont go any further into it anymore.
really hate it mans.

2007-04-26T12:23:00.000+08:00

was sick today, didnt turn up for school again.
jkay came and find me around ten plus yesterday.
nothing better to do luhs, its always th same thing. hahs.
nothing to write about my boring life alred. thats about all.

2007-04-23T11:51:00.000+08:00

dont know what to post either.
just blogged for th sake of blogging.
i just dont understand. why do people kept saying that ive changed alot.
i mean. so what? i know. true friends are those who stays despite how much have i changed.
those to wants to leave. let them go. i wont beg them or plead them to stay.
its pointless to keep them, anyway.
and from today onwards. i'll live my life, my way.
no one is gonna change me, in anyway. no one.
leave if you cant accept me for who i am. i wont keep you.

2007-04-13T14:19:00.000+08:00

went east coast with jie jie and jkay on thursday.
not too sure if its a pleasent or an unpleasent one.
but i know with jie jie and jkay around, time spent with them are happy times. (:
our last night together, jie jies starting school this week, jkay too.
really sad to know that its our last night together, because i find that they are good people to be friends with.
reached there, first thing, played pool. hahs. again.
ate there and that was th first thing i ate th whole day. was so happy mans.
went out to smoke, then jkay put th whole pack right beside before he went in first.
what th hells, and i didnt realise know? 18 sticks lost, nevermind, i still got ten left with me in th other pack.
then went to th beach there, sat there and i did something stupid again.
it was too dark alre luhs, didnt know that i lighted up th filter, what th fcuk. hahs.
lost one stick again, boreds.
but nevermind, bought one pack again. hahs.
went mac, and went back to th same bench again. hahs.
sat there till six plus, then started to find th nearest bus stop.
but find bus stop for bigg, we all took cab in th end. hahs.
oh yeah, jie jie can carry me. hahs.
was like so stunned, know? hahs.
p/s: jkay now has gold colour nails done by jie jie. hahs.

2007-04-12T04:23:00.000+08:00

at joey jie jies house now.
life these days, very tiring uh.
ton. ton. ton. hahs.
went plaza sing and bugis with jkay. jie jie. and jia bao.
th three js. hahs.
im th odd one out. hahs.
pierced my stupid ear. dont know for what.
but nevermind, jie jie gave me a diamond ear stud to reward me for my bravery. hahs.
still sick, boreds.
had been coughing for weeks, it just dont seem to recover.
maybe its time to quit or something.
its getting a little out of hand.
dont know luhs. see how.

2007-04-01T08:28:00.000+08:00

just came back from th cineleisure trip.
without my phone. hahs.
spoilt luhs. lazy to send it for repair.
but not much difference though. hahs.
got there around twelve and met up with joey jie jie.
yong kang said that its digusting for me to call her that.
but im rather used to it though. hahs.
bought th tickets and went to eat at th kopitiam across th street.
didnt eat much though, shared th bloody carrot cake with jk.
went to th arcade to play for awhile.
played that dumb soccer ball game whereby you just needa kick that dumb ball.
played with jk luhs, lost to that noob. hahs.
but we are both noob luhs, so no difference. hahs.
played pool after that, since th shows at 3.1o. hahs.
teamed up with joey jie jie. was my first time playing.
and i played like a fcuking noob. hahs.
went outside with jk for awhile, and came back to realised that th four luo zhi bet wedges. dont know for what.
joey jie jies team won, so its a good thing. hahs.
but went there to find out that no more wedges left, what a good news for yong kang and gene. disappointment. hahs.
had ice lemon tea - coke and popcorns.
that drink was jk and joey jie jies favourite, so i decided to give it a try.
meet th robinsons up next, not a bad movie though.
was alre five plus when we got everything on our to do list checked.
went to mac after that. eat flavour burst and played cards.
flavour burst was also copied from joey jie jie. and jk. hahs.
slack. slack. and slack till seven plus.
board th train and started acting stupid.
played musical chair, i know its lame, but its really fun though.
th loser need to emo and sit beside th door for one train station.
alan was th first, th second was me and third was eugene.
there wasnt much people on board at first, so its rather okay.
changed th game and th punishment after finding it rather too much a time waste.
changed to oh ya pei ya som, th loser needa go around th pole for five times at first, adding five each time.
was th only loser during that game, and i could feel like th whole worlds spinning.
15 rounds eh, you try luhs. hahs.
next up was slap on th hand by joey jie jie, started with three before adding two each time.
jk had it thrice, i had it five times, eugene got it like seventeen or sixteen. cant remember, but its pain luhs. hahs.
and oh yes. jk did that mrBEAN dance. and its video-ed. hahs.
i mean. everythings video-ed. hahs.
hope i wont be able to see it in youtube. hahs.
cause i look really dumb when i was running around th pole. hahs.
okay okay. shouldnt write too much.
having a splitting headache. and my throat infection is getting worst.
so my last words.
thanks to all those who went out th last night.
i really had a fun time yesterday.
hope there would be a next time.

loves ; joey jie jie. jk. eugene. yongkang. and lastly, alan. (:
p/s : thanks joey jie jie for th pretty nails. x)